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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 20th, 2023

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  • What I don’t understand is why Americans portray themselves as Dutch when coming to the Netherlands.

    Do they, though? Are there really that many Americans who think or try to pretend they are actually Dutch, instead of Americans who are have Dutch ancestry?

    It honestly sounds like they are just trying to connect by sharing a commonality and something that is (probably) important to them in some way. It’s an expression of appreciation. Even if the cultural traditions carried on in the US are different than in the modern-day country–so what? It doesnt make those cultural traditions less important to the people who celebrate them. I fail to understand what is wrong with acknowledging or appreciating where those traditions originated.

    Is it just a matter of semantics and an objection to the label itself “(whatever nationality)-American”?




  • Very different these days. The beauty of the status bubbles and messengers of past is that you would catch each other when you both had time and desire to chat and then you’d have a back and forth conversation until one of you disengaged. You also almost never have people sending offline messages. It was more akin to an in-person interaction where you’re either visibly there and someone can approach and talk to you in real time or you aren’t.

    Texting is generally of a blend between real-time messenging (but you can’t tell if they’re available) and short form email where everyone interacts differently and has their own ideas about “proper” etiquette. It’s probably somewhat cultural but in my experience, people just use messaging apps in the exact same way as they would text, so status bubbles don’t mean much.



  • Yes, it also leads to people like me feeling like they need to go down a rabbit hole for 5 hours before they’re “allowed” to ask. Then, upon finally asking, they come to find out the answer was quick and simple and they could have saved many hours.

    This is such a problem for me. Hot damn do I envy people who don’t let the fear of seeming stupid keep them from just asking the damn question.


  • This is a complicated topic for me. I’m 35 so my experience is obviously different than today, but I self-harmed from age 12 into my 20s. Finding community and understanding in self-harm & mental illness-focused communities was transformative for me, especially in my younger teens. Many days/months/years this community felt like the only reason I was still hanging on.

    Obviously I am not in favor of the “encouragement” of self-harm, but I also wonder how much nuance is applied when categorizing content as such. For example, is someone who posts about how badly they want to self-harm “encouraging” this? Or are they just seeking support? Idk. I have no answers. I just think about how even bleaker my teens would have felt had I not found my pockets of community on the early internet. On the other hand, sometimes I do wonder if we subconsciously egged each other on. Perhaps the trajectory of my mental health journey would have been different had I not found them. That’s not something I can ever be sure about, but I think given my home life and all the things I was going through already, if anything, my mental illness might have just manifested itself in a different way, like through substance abuse issues or an eating disorder or something. (And to be clear, I was hurting myself before I found the community, so it might have just been business as usual.) Like I said, I don’t have any answers, it just feels more nuanced to me, as someone who has lived some version of this.




  • Man, where does everyone in the comments live that it still works like this? Where I’m at, they basically have attempted to replace like 90% of cashier jobs with these machines. There is often either no cashier at all, or one single cashier with like 5 people in their line, each with shopping carts filled to the brim.

    The self checkout lines routinely reach lines of 10+ people with many old people who struggle using the machines forced to use them and gumming up the operations more. I avoid going to the grocery store like the plague during any kind of higher traffic time because I don’t want to wait in line for 15 mins.

    Other issue with self checkout machines is that some places (Kroger, looking at you) weigh the bag every time you scan an item before you can scan the next, which makes things go soooooo slow.



  • It’s so stupid, but definitely can be helpful professionally to maintain a profile there. Depends on your experience and what field you’re in, of course, but recruiters seem to use it a fair amount.

    Definitely don’t use it for the garbage social media aspect (it’s like some weird crowd-sourced Chicken Soup for the Soul shit??) However, I’ve been convinced of its utility after getting a new job through a recruiter there without even looking. The process was sooo easy compared to applying for jobs the traditional way. Icing on the cake was that it came with a 50% raise and was for a position I would never have applied for on my own but I love it. Maybe it was lightning in a bottle, but I figure doesn’t hurt to keep up a page just in case another good opportunity comes along. If nothing else, the recruiters I hear from give me a sense of how hot the market is and what kind of jobs my profile is pinging me for in case I want to make tweaks.




  • More like, imagine walking into a cafe and thinking you can dictate what other people are talking about because you don’t like it, instead of just finding a table with conversation you enjoy.

    Going up to tables and telling them to talk about something different is about 1000x more annoying than the initial issue, especially when the topic of conversation is clearly labeled on the table and you have the ability to completely mute them. Inexplicably, you seem to have decided bitching at them would be more productive than just curating your feed like everyone else.