Your parenting mojo

But anything that helps you understand your brain and personal issues better will also help with parenting. So also try:

The Happiness Lab

Hidden Brain

School of Life (YouTube channel)

People online tend to recommend therapy to everyone,and I’m sure therapy is great if you can access it. But you can read, listen, watch, learn and improve through self reflection…and heal wounds you never knew about.

The thing I’m really missing is finding a good dad group or parent group to join. I would love some peer support.

I’m good with my parents. They have their normal human flaws, which I accept happily.

Are you a parent yourself? It’s really difficult. You can’t help but bring a lot of baggage. There’s a podcast I lesten to, to improve parenting that runs a workshop called “taming your triggers”. Having children exposes a lot of wounds and personal baggage. It’s really difficult to recognise and address those on yourself as a parent. Your description of expectations from a parent are so idealised, I would argue that there are very few individuals in the world who are actually successful in being that good and selfless.

This is interesting if you’ve got an hour to watch a philosophy video(link goes directly to 53min if you just want to watch a few minutes).

Well? Is it?

Podcasts are my thing. I’ve got you covered.

Depends on what you’re into:

More or Less: Behind the Stats - analysis of some statistic from the news

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos - what science says about how to be happy

The Audio Long Read - long form articles from the Guardian newspaper

You Are Not So Smart - cognitive science related. How we know things, our biases, how our thinking is flawed, etc.

Dan Snow’s History Hit - One of the few history podcasts I really like

Short History Of… - a short history of some specific thing

The Forum - expert panel discussion about some topic

Behind the Bastards - Very well known podcast focusing on some bastard personality

CrowdScience - in depth investigation of a listener science question

Radiolab - in depth investigation of a topic of their interest. Quite broad scope.

Unexpected Elements - a very varied mix of discussions around a science topic from the news

Cautionary Tales with Tim Harford - Tim Harford is the podcast king for me. This show is a deep dive into something that went wrong in news or history, and an investigation of all the systemic failures around it. It tries to show how blame is hardly ever warranted on a single person and the systems are at fault.

The Martin Lewis Podcast - UK consumer advocate and saving guru

Show Me The Meaning! A Wisecrack podcast - a couple of philosophers talk about a movie

The Inquiry - a deep dive into a news story

Revisionist History - Malcolm Gladwell’s podcast about a range of different things

The Law Show - UK legal system issues

The Infinite Monkey Cage - comedy science panel show

The Supermassive Podcast - space related podcast

File on 4 investigates - detailed story from deep investigative journalism

Thinking Allowed - light philosophical ramblings

When It Hits the Fan - two public relations experts talk about PR issues from current events

Discovery - science related. Currently mostly doing shows about “a life scientific” I.e. talking to a scientist about their life

Overthink - philosophy made accessible

What It’s Like To Be… - a person from a particular occupation talks about their job

People Fixing the World - people from different parts of the world fixing some local problem in their community in a creative way

Hidden Brain - my absolute favourite. Cognitive science related. Explains how the brain works and how to use the understanding to male your own love better.

Within Reason Your Parenting Mojo - evidence based parenting. Can be a very dry long-winded research presentation, but this has improved my parenting (and life) immensely

sideways - different ideas and how to look at things differently

Darknet Diaries - stories from the dark underbelly of the internet

The Reith Lectures - once a year short lecture series, but well worth listening to the backlog

Evil Genius with Russell Kane - comedians discuss how some villains from history weren’t so bad and how some heroes from history were terrible people

Owls at Dawn - ramblings of a couple of philosophers

Sound of Gaming - excellent music show about music soundtracks from videogames

Playing god? - medical ethics discussion

30 Animals That Made Us Smarter - this series has ended but it is worth listening to the backlog

50 Things That Made the Modern Economy - this series has ended but it is worth listening to the backlog

A History of the World in 100 Objects - this series has ended but it is worth listening to the backlog

I would also recommend the podcast series made to accompany the Chernobyl and Last of Us TV series.

S Town - a nice fiction mini series drama story.

Your caveman brain. People think they’re educated an enlightened and everything they do now is so well thought out. Nope, the caveman is in the driving seat for all of us. Even your most high level meetings and interviews are influenced by how hungry, horny, or hurt you are by a teasing comment yesterday. Everyone is looking to establish dominance at any cost, when you don’t really need to.

Oldest.

There’s a podcast by Malcolm Gladwell where he says data shows the single best predictor of successful college application or success with college sports is your month of birth. Being oldest in the class comes as a huge advantage and is making many American families “red shirt” their child by putting them in school a year later; and this making them the oldest child in the class all the way through.

This just sounds more and more appealing. Count me in.

Wife approval factor

My wife won’t use it if she can’t see an app for it to click on to start using immediately. Going through browsers is not an option. Not having a dedicated app on the LG TV is not an option. Not being able to find something instantly means instant rejection. She refused Plex, but now sometimes uses it and has learnt to find subtitles, etc by herself.

I don’t touch my self hosted apps. If something doesn’t behave properly on the first attempt then it gets rejected from our household. It’s only for us enthusiast nerds to put up with kanky UI and setup issues for the sake of superior functionality. Normie’s won’t tolerate it.

The internet had niche use for enthusiast nerds. An internet connected handheld device was the game changer.

There are a million possibilities and no single right answer. Strangers on the internet are not going to be able to tell you. Strangers on the internet certainly don’t know the dynamic between the two of you.

Write down the possibilities (you’ve mentioned some in your post). Think of what seems fair to you. Show her the possibilities and talk about it and agree something.

My wife came from a family that considered it the man’s duty to pay for everything and that women have to protect themselves from exploitation by guarding their own money. Conversations about sharing expenses were very unwelcome and showing love meant spending a lot on luxury gifts. She used to earn a third of what i did and had more disposable income than me since bills left me with little disposable. You could end up with 2 people at different levels of affluence in the same house if you are very defensive and financially isolationist. It’s taken a long time to change that to a collaboration to work through life together with shared resources.

The most “scientific” way in a full commitment would be to put an equal % of both salaries into a “bills” account, then put how much you both want to save into a savings account and then divide the leftover disposable equally between yourselves.

Or if you’re too early to be fully committed then you can start with continuing to pay for everything or ask her for a flat amount contribution.

Just know that money is one of the biggest sources of friction on a relationship and most people at not on the same page. It takes work and talking to get to the same page (that means talking to her… Not us).

Finding your place in society and connecting with others can be really hard sometimes, and no one helps people who get it this badly wrong. It’s just easier to ignore, avoid and ridicule. Hope this poor kid figures it out.

Where/how do I check or know what impact that has? I think this just further strengthens the point that Lemmy is not welcoming to normal users at all and is just for specialist nerds.

Makes sense once there’s enough of a userbase…but currently there isn’t a huge amount of content of interest on Lemmy and sticking to a local instance just limits this even more. Currently I have to stick to “all” as even areas of subscription can run out of content with a quick scroll session.

I’m pretty techie and I’ve been here for months. I still don’t fully understand why it matters and how a different instance would have changed my experience. The fediverse is so fragmented, it would be dumb to stick to one instance. My app is always set to browse “all”. Everyone commenting seems to be from different instances. I’m certainly not going to start reading about different instances at signup when it presents the fact that you will be able to access all instances anyway. I picked randomly from one of the most popular choices. This whole process of a selection of an instance sounded good to software engineers, and sure this is how the technology fits together…but these are “back end” issues that I (and other normies) don’t care about at all. Users do not want to get into the weeds of how the back end works and it is certainly off putting.

Interesting that a solution exists for that scenario. I used to use 2 podcast apps to keep my dailies and serials separate and had to manually go between them.

Been with MailBox.org for ages and it’s been absolutely fantastic. Proton had very limited offerings at the time, but even now I haven’t felt the need to move.

I think the most basic email offering is €1/month.

Heavily filter what you consume. Following all news is not the morally correct thing to do, and you can cut back on it.

I’m fighting against this by staying off all social media other than Lemmy. All my news comes from a small number of curated sources, and only in RSS feeds (so I get them in time order rather than bullshit news site headlines prioritisation). I use a lot of keyword filters on Lemmy and in my RSS news (Covid, Trump, Biden, most American news, anything that is meaningless to me is blocked before it can show up on my screen).

TLDR news is a particularly good YouTube channel. They have really well presented news and pick out a few important events to report on. I find that’s more than enough for me for news consumption.

Understandable, but it’s a significant diifculty in migrating fully to Linux when PDFs are used everywhere and there are solutions that work well on Windows. This is one of the few things I will get my wife’s Windows laptop for.

OpenSUSE doesn’t get recommended enough. Great distro I’ve settled with permanently after trying all the popular ones.

I’ve been through a lot of options trying to get the same functionality you mentioned. I’ve never found a single app that works particularly well. I’m surprised the state of PDF apps is so poor in Linux. Others have mentioned a bunch of apps and each fails in some major way. I’ll come back and check this comment section later for new suggestions for my own sake too.