Brem

Well hell, I look 93% identical to Frank Zappa.

If that’s all it takes to be somebody else, I might be movin’ to Montana soon…

Just like “Everything Is Bigger In Texas” is considered a self-own to the rest of the world, they’re the brunt of the joke. (Sorry Austin, you too. Yes, even SXSW)

Fingers & toes. They’ll tell the truth before all the digits are missin’, even live on their beloved Fox news.

Best they can do is no trees, half of everyone riding mobility scooters and neighbors with dogs that can poop EVERYWHERE.

I was curious where the land was, and if I could help in any way.

It’s in Texas. I made a promise to myself that I’d never go back to Texas.

Texas. Fucking. Suuuuuucks.

Please don’t call me “American”, I am a citizen of the world

At this point, saying

“Release the entire unredacted Epstein files” is probably considered terrorism.

Some of us might not make it, but at least we didn’t ignore or support a real terrorist

If I can’t fix something…instead of throwing it away, I save it to bludgeon the people responsible for creating something I can’t fix.

You better make sure I’m gone when you go into the bunker. I’m looking for air vents with company logos on them. I’ll have my deluxe HP ready, hung on a leather strap slung around my back.

…when “Squint” & “Cheesecurd” drag you from the depths of Mt. Florida, it’ll be me, “Ink Cartridge Empty” bringing the full weight of my HP2500XLRS down upon thine head!!!

The scratch is simply a metaphor.

This is a horse story…

…A found letter story, in the form of a Ken Burns documentary!!

POOF

"Dear Bobert,

I have stumbled upon a majestic lamp & read the text of lamp. A genie… neigh…a Djin then appeared. When asked for my first I gurfawed “Apple”, but sadly it was an apple of knowledge. Damned Djin. Now I am on my second wish, which I have decided is “Replace horse with car”.

Please, if this is a bad wish, alert me within the next few minutes. I realize now that it is too late, as you have already received this and I have made my wish.

Alas, I lovingly await your sheep words…

Car love you, Jim The Horse The Car"

The Car & The Horse:

A Short Tale a Djin Once Told Me (VOL I)

Once upon a time there was a human with a horse. It wasn’t a poor human, but it was a simple one.

One day whilst plowing fields, forcing a horse to plow a course…(“Jim”, we shall name horse) thae human stumbled upon a brass lamp, ornately carved & brilliant to witness.

As the human was furiously rubbing the lamp with it’s sleeve, Jim noticed some text on the bottom of the lamp and imagined what it might sound like…

“Neigh…”, the human heard, curiously

BUT this isn’t a tale of humans. It is a tale of horses and electric cars. The last of my tales dwarfed the original story, thus causing OP to delete the entire post. However, that story isn’t gone forever. I still have it. This is simply a different one.

And this is a story about a horse.

FOR MORE HORSE STORY, INSERT COIN

Yakov? Damn you still owe me for all those nights in Branson, Missouri!!!

I agree, but you can also fart from a butthole (which is funny) & some people have sex with them.

Nobody is fucking Sam and co. & they are not funny.

Bird up

Only the rubes trusted it. The rest of intelligent society has actively been warning people about this exact situation for decades.in books, in movies, in songs, and now memes.

Just keep caring. Stay informed. Collect books and uncorrupted data. Spread the word. Be good.

That way, when inevitably this all goes wrong (as it always does), we have plenty of backup data for whatever eventually finds our remains ;)

Panic mode is still a few years away. Just wait, it gets pretty wild. Not fun wild, but it does get simultaneously violent & weird.

Nothing like Terminator. More like teenage boys throwing controllers; only we & our beautiful planet are the gamepad being smashed against the drywall.

We know his name, I was just being silly.

I’m old too, no worries.

Woz is an example of how you can’t get billions of dollars without being an absolute completely greedy piece of shit.

If value was based on worth, Musk would be his jester.

Yes.