Poor guy. I’m glad he has a happy ham-filled life with you now.

Pillock is the one I try to use in the car when the kids are there.

It’s also a village in Worcestershire, although that’s two words.

I just found it funny in contrast to the others, but if it works, it works.

Wally

I love all these. But what I particularly love is that there are three really clever ones and the fourth is like, fuck it, let’s just call him a bellend.

I love my induction hob for all the reasons you mention. It is by far the best hob I’ve used - much better than gas - and I cook a lot. The only slight downside is ensuring you have the right pans, but they’re widely available. My enamelled cast iron casserole pot works a treat.

I have everything I need for a Nadja of Antipaxos costume, but I don’t think we’re going anywhere.

Three shares, folded in half, then in half again. Maybe two squares if it’s quilted.

Stop trying to make fetch happen

I’ve been using Daylio for years.

It’s designed to track moods and the activities associated with them, but it’s adaptable, so I use it to track my headaches. It’s very easy to use and it doesn’t feel onerous to record the information.

When I worked in retail, I had this wanker of a middle manager who would ask how I was getting on, and when I said fine, he’d always say “It’s not rocket science, is it?”

He was mid twenties and only a few years older than me. He used to call female employees “babe”.

One time I watched him get a withering telling off from a customer. The customer wasn’t in the right, but it felt like a little bit of retribution for all us “babes”.

He looks like a tardigrade

I have something similar! Mine is a playwright, so not on most people’s radar, unless they Google my name. It’s great.